Spicy Rice Crackers
by NATRASH
Summary: Big Sis, did you know? These spicy rice crackers you gave me... I don't know who I'm supposed to share them with.


**A/N:** Posted on AO3 under the same title.

((Thanks for the readers who reviewed my last fic "Poison"! I appreciate your nice words. I'll be writing a happier fic, I promise. lmao.))

Anyways, enjoy this slightly messy 'too-long-for-a-drabble-too-strange-for-a-fic' fic.

 _ **(Set some time after Mitsuba's death.)**_

* * *

"Oi, Sadist, are you going to kill yourself?"

The feminine voice of a certain China girl made her presence officially known, even though Okita was already aware that she was approaching him even before she spoke. Having been antagonizing her for such a long time, he had already grown familiar of her walking pattern. If he wanted to, he could've launched a surprise attack there and then, but he didn't have the right frame of mind to antagonize her today.

 _Not today._

"Go away." he dismissed lowly, not looking up at her or moving an inch from his spot.

Kagura stared at the man who was currently sitting on the wooden bridge's railing, hunched over with a big pack of spicy rice crackers in his hands. The mellow gleam of the setting sun illuminating his face was nothing short of magnificent—yet, his eyes seemed to absorb none of its radiance. Those crimson orbs he had, they seemed lifeless. There was none of his signature evil gleam dwelling in his eyes.

Even though the position where Kagura stood only gave her a side view of his face, she already knew that the distressed-looking police officer wasn't gazing at the sunset, nor the coursing river below.

Kagura set down her umbrella, closing it up albeit the sun hasn't fully retreated yet.

"I heard about your sister," she spoke, "When is the funeral service?"

Okita exhaled a deep breath. His lips felt a little too heavy to speak up. Even breathing itself was painful, like continuous pangs that clobbered his chest. Yet at the same time, none of this pain affected him; it was almost like his subconscious had shut his senses off, making him immune to the pain. The paradox in himself was almost nonsensical, and he found it truly laughable. How long has it been since he was last reduced into this sort of mess? He didn't know. And even if he did, he didn't even want to count.

"... Tomorrow." he finally answered her.

His eyes went out of focus again, wondering how she would know about his sister. They had never met. He did talk about "an annoying Yato girl who always gets on my nerves" to his sister at some point of time, but as far as he's concerned, he had never disclosed about his familial relations to anyone apart from the Shinsengumi.

 _Ah, yes, danna was there._

He, almost suddenly, realized that fact. How could he have forgotten? Maybe all this blankness in his mind was hindering his brain from working properly, he wondered.

"If you kill yourself today, you won't be able to attend her funeral tomorrow, yes?" Kagura uttered with a hint of genuineness, which made him wonder just how stupid she actually was.

"Although, if you really want to jump, I won't stop you," she added.

 _So dumb._

"I'm not as stupid as you are. I won't kill myself over the death of a person, even if that is the only person I care about. Ending my life won't make her happy." He muttered.

Kagura closed her eyes for a while and unknowingly cracked a small smile. Of course he wouldn't jump; if it's this guy, it would be more likely for him to kill whoever wronged his sister rather than himself. That being said, staring at his crouched back earlier had her unsettled; and thus, she decided that she wasn't done here yet.

Really, that back shouldn't be hunched down like that. Seeing this pathetic sight was more painful than seeing how he surrendered his life for the Joui assailants on that incident with Kirie. That dumb back should've been up straight with confidence and a strong sense of responsibility. That dumb back is the back that the citizens of Edo has entrusted their safety on.

"Well, then..." Kagura hopped on the railing and sat by his side. Truthfully, the question of _'what are you doing'_ was at the tip of his tongue, but he decided he was too tired to say it.

He didn't care anyway.

 _(He did.)_

Kagura watched the sun setting in the horizons, admiring its beauty although her physique did not personally get along with the sunshine itself.

"You think moping around like this will make her happy?" she teased, raising an eyebrow at him.

Frankly speaking, Okita didn't think Gintoki would talk about his sister's death to anyone, but knowing Danna, he probably thought there was no point of hiding it from his 'kids' since the connection between the Yorozuya and Shinsengumi was, after all, undeniable. Okita did not mind, but the fact that this China girl was sticking her nose in this matter was slightly unexpected. He didn't think this brat would actually strike a conversation with him about something so sensitive. Although, that might also be because she's too dense to realize that this was a sensitive matter.

Really, she could've been better if she had used her brain more often. She had proved that she could be perceptive at times, but why would she choose to not do it? How could someone choose to live in their own world of innocence with such carefreeness and optimism? That was something that had bothered him ever since he first met her. She was a peculiar being. It was as if she was wrapped in another world where he couldn't reach her.

He didn't get her; she was probably the only person he had not managed to crack. Her unpredictability annoyed him, yet intrigued him at the same time, and he just couldn't get enough of her. By the time he realized that he has gotten a little too invested in 'unraveling' her, she had already occupied a large part in his life. And then regret kicked in.

Not only had he not been successful in cracking her open, he was now the one being cracked open. Needless to say, he was incredibly frustrated by how easily he let his guard down when this China brat is concerned. Forget about decoding her, now he had to deal with _her_ infiltrating his mind! He obviously didn't want that, and thus, ever since, he had tried to push her away out of his thoughts.

"Are you trying to comfort me?" he responded with slight annoyance, "I don't need it. I told you I won't jump, so go away already."

"Who's trying to comfort you? I'm trying to comfort your poor sister's lost soul." she remarked, "Did you know dead souls cannot peacefully go to heaven if they still have an attachment to this world? If you keep worrying her, she cannot go to heaven, yes?"

"What is this, a Bleach episode?" he deadpanned.

He grabbed one rice cracker, "I told you before, right? Don't go blabbering things that aren't your character."

Okita heaved an exasperated breath, albeit some of what she said actually starting to make sense to him. No, this must be the effect of sitting beside her—he was starting to become as dumb as she was!

"Actually, I can see ghosts since I was little." Kagura said.

"The only ghost on this empty bridge is you," he retorted.

Kagura narrowed her eyes at him.

"Ssh, I hear your sister speaking, she's saying you should share those rice crackers with me." she declared, her eyes at the pack of rice crackers he's holding.

Ah, there it was. Her true self showing up.

Okita opened a pack of rice cracker and ate it, ignoring her pursuing eyes. "I'll give you one if you bark three times and lick my shoes." he challenged with a complete monotonous manner.

In a flash, her umbrella was up against the underside of his chin.

"Do you realize what situation you're in right now, huh? I can shoot you down this river and you will die, yes?!" She threatened loudly, tapping the tip of her umbrella at his chin. But after a second, she lowered her umbrella away and rested the tip against the ground. _His sadistic self is still not here, huh..._

Sougo looked down at the purple umbrella, wondering what in the world was in her mind.

"What, now?" he blurted out before he had time to process his thoughts. (He didn't really want to ask, but she was so irritating and odd at the same time and he couldn't help but wonder.)

She didn't reply, though. It seemed like she didn't think it was something she should respond to, and she was now gazing at the sky which was no longer radiated by the sun. The darkness had just fallen and the stars had just beginning to show.

He watched as she swung her legs back and forth. So childish, he thought.

He resented the fact that he would instinctively let his guard down for her even though it's against his will. And the thing was, whenever he thought he had successfully pushed her away, she would come back with a hard punch in the gut, as if punishing him for trying to remove her from his mind.

Just like this day.

When he thought there was nothing, she came out of seemingly nowhere and reminded him that there was _something_.

"Oi," she began, "Gin-chan told me to not ask about or go to your sister's funeral,"

"—but I asked about it anyway, yes? ... Well, he thinks I'll cause a chaos if I go, but I think I should ask the related person himself." She continued, "Do you want me to go attend the funeral?"

Sougo had to admit that certainly wasn't something he expected she would ask. To be honest, he hadn't even given it a thought until that moment. And while it's true that she could cause chaos wherever she goes, he wouldn't think she would go as far as to stir up problems in someone's funeral. In that sense, he thought, maybe Gintoki was trying to protect something else?

—Men's pride?

That man probably knew Sougo would be grieving in the funeral, and perhaps, he was preventing Sougo from showing his weak side to her? (Especially when he knew Kagura and Sougo were always at each others' throats). Men have their dignity after all.

That said, Sougo hadn't really... _hidden_ his weakness in front of China. If he recalled how many times he had let her seen his weak side, the number of the occurrences would amount to at least more than the fingers in his hands. He had let her throw him around, pin him onto the ground, see his constipated face, and so much more. He understood that this was something that he didn't want to let her see, but there must be something else.

Perhaps it's because of _Kagura_ —maybe that man didn't want Kagura to cry. He was like her earth-dad, after all. And he had definitely guessed this little kid of his would cry at Mitsuba's funeral; he certainly didn't want her to cry.

Oh.

 _Who would?_

The gears in his brain were starting to work and things started making sense. Sougo blinked a few times, feeling an unfamiliar ache in his chest. Who knew debating about this little brat's attendance to the funeral could be so distressing?

For one, he wanted to properly introduce her sister to this infuriating little brat, but he also didn't want to make his sister see anyone cry at the funeral.

On top of that, the weight of seeing her tears on his most vulnerable day—he didn't want that either.

 _Why in the world must it be this brat?_

Seriously though, what's there about this annoying, offensive, sukonbu-smelling brat that he wanted to protect?

It's almost ridiculous.

"So...?" Kagura stared at him, waiting for his response.

Okita let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding.

"No." He answered.

Kagura looked at him, and then shifted her position.

"... Alright."

Sougo stayed quiet, waiting for any reason or further explanation from her. It never came, however.

"Are you going to follow things I say?" he asked out of curiosity, "This would be the first time if you do."

"It's 2 vs 1, yes?" she replied with a shrug. "And I'm not obeying you, I'm obeying Gin-chan."

He actually raised an eyebrow at that, both impressed and suspicious at how she was so agreeable for once. For a moment, he was suspicious as to whether she meant her words, but then he decided there was no reason for her to lie about this matter. The fact that she asked in the first place had revealed her sincerity about this issue, and frankly he was pretty impressed at how well she's handling this. Again his mind started to ponder about this little gesture of respect she had shown, which made his lifelong quest of 'throwing away the thoughts about her' much more difficult than it already was. Honestly, she was like a spiderweb. She's difficult to get out of, and she's everywhere. She's in every corner of his mind.

The flaxen-haired man heaved another sigh again for that day, "You're such an annoying brat."

"Why are you complaining when I'm doing something according to your interests?" Kagura countered, crossing her arms.

"Get lost, damn brat."

Kagura looked at the sandy-haired man, who somehow seemed like he was looking into the reflection of the moon that had just started to shine.

"Have you transformed from an S to an M after all?" she asked teasingly.

"Ha? Are you crazy?"

His voice actually sounded of something—of an emotion—as opposed to the dull, frigid voice earlier, and she laughed a bit at it.

"You look like a police officer who lost his badge and is afraid of being scolded by his superior." she said, swinging her legs.

Sougo sighed. "Sadists feel sad too, sometimes. I wish people would be more considerate."

He looked away listlessly, observing the waves and ripples in the river illuminated by the lights of Kabuki-cho.

The young police officer kept silent as he sort of waited for her to say something—which was unusual on its own—but she didn't speak a word either. The coming nightwind breezed by for a moment, cutting through the silence gently.

Not wanting to fall into a silence again, Okita spoke up and offered, "Oi, I'll tell you what. If you go away now, I'll give you a pack of rice cracker."

She looked at him.

"Nope," she declined.

He instantly found her eyes—with his eyes full of question—as he was completely caught by surprise from her refusal. He thought she would definitely agree, but there again came her unpredictability.

 _—_ _But why?_

"I will leave when I want to." She elaborated a moment after, "You don't get to tell me what to do."

 _Ah. Of course._

A small smirk escaped his lips.

Noticing that the usual colors in his eyes had fully returned, Kagura felt a sense of victory. She pointed her umbrella at him, "It's not because I want to stay here to comfort you, by the way." she stated.

The girl turned back and plopped down on the bridge, dusting her pants after she did. "As a matter of fact, I am going to leave now." she said.

Before he could give a response, she tugged the tip of her umbrella at his back and said firmly, "Sit up straight. This is the back that the people of Edo are leaning on. Can't let them see it crouched like this, yes?"

Sougo smirked at himself as he closed his eyes, "Are you going to lean on it, too?"

He heard a condescending snort from her, and then the tip of her umbrella moved to the back of his head.

"You cannot die unless I kill you, got it?" she spoke, and he felt her smile.

"Try it, then." he responded with a small smile of his own.

"Heh. I will." She replied, starting to walk away.

Sougo stared at the ripples on the water, a satisfied smile forming on his lips.

 _Big Sis, did you know? The person I chose to share my spicy rice crackers with...she's spicy as fuck._

* * *

 **A/N:** Rushed ending, yes? Sorry, folks.

Special thanks to i-just-want-to-destroy for proofreading!


End file.
